Like man sheite, my week’s ben all kinds ova fucked up. It all started when I was board and decided to download, well copouy and paste my friend’s files, of Pokemon Hentai version. I started up the game and instead of sexy Pikachu showing up there was black screen showing the title screen and the CPYRGHT info said, “this isn’t a bug, virus, or other shit of that nature, this copy is haunted, leave now bitch, before I use more commas!” It should be noted that my friend was found died with bullets and dehydration and shit like that, but that was in a gang fight so noone gave a sheite. I chose the load option and then flash cookie, but sadly there was no save. I then went back to start new game.
The following was happing.
The game started with me standing outside Ash’s house with no pants, as he had no legs. Though he had a dick, 2 pixels but still a dick. I tried to walk into his house but the door didn’t open. Reliesing that you have to manually open doors in the game I hit space. The living/kitchen/dinning room was covered in blood and there his mother stood over dozens of bodies. I talked to her and she said, “These were virgins.” It should be mentioned that in the game Ash’s mom was a slut, so this explained the blood. I proceeded upstairs and walked into Ash’s room to find Pikachu Missing an arm. The picture that shows up to help you name the captured pokemon showed the nude pikachu bent slightly forward grasping the wound where her arm was once on, gibing me the weirdest bonar.
I tried to talk to her and the options of “leave” and “rapeing time” appeared, which was odd as A {you couldn’t talk to her and c\: All sex was consensual from my memoiry. So I chose the second option to see wat would happen. Pikachu pushed Ash to the ground and began to ride his 2-pixel dick, blood driping on the floor. Soon (as in 11.0789798585732873264812634872164863(2789648261384213648723 seconds) a picture appeared of the no legged Ash laying on the ground with a bloody, blacked eyed (color or injury? Yes) Pikachu groping her breast. I came buy my rerection stayed. I then left the house buy jumping out the window breaking Ash’s non-existent legs as Pikachu’s AI lead her out the door. I preceded to Oak’s lab but it was a burning wreck. Luckily there was 696,969,696.69 fan art items so I could catch Pakemans with ease. So I proceeded to the Rattata house at the bottom of the map. I entered and the table lady was ded on the ground, Rattata eating her. I approached and the battle theme played sideways, how the fuck this happened I don’t know. The Rattata (it’s safe to think and visualize all pakemans as nudeish humanoids at this point) muzzle was bloody and her face was in a contorted smile. You can touch the pokemon to make them horny so I did that. The rattata’s breasts were firm and b-cups I think, but they were clawed at and had scars and wounds on them. Her pussy was oddly just covered from; I assume the house lady’s blud. I hit attack by accident but instead of “flail” I mean that was there but there was the rape option again. Four no rasins I chose the rape potion again.
After 9.1327418326954367543765432 seconds an image of legless Ash cumming on the rattata’s titties popped up, repeating my previous actions I named her “DickAss” and we went on our way. After rappiding a spearow and Misty A.K.A. “Dicktart” (I’m 5812893546 years old by the way) taking my shorts and joining my paraty I headed out of the next town. Instead of heading into a forest I was teleported to the pakmanes leagurea to of which didn’t exist in game. I walked a few feet and 20 Marowaks ambushed me but instead of a battle anthor img bopped up and Ash, Misety, and pikachu, and the Marowaks began doing anal and tittiejobs to echovta. I received the marowak aramy as a pokemon and preceded to face the jim bosses. The first one was that of Jack Swagger form smack down and rarw, he had Machops that were pallet swaped for pictures of Shiva from Mortal Kombat 3.
After I raped him, I proceeded to face the 1\2 boss that turned out to be the conjoined twins of Danny and Arin from gayme grumps. They used Jigglypuffed, I fucked her and she joined us as “DbleDrgnDildo”. I then fought Felicia from Darkstalkers and She oddly used Taokaka as a pakemoans. I fucked them both up, the ass, and the joined the party even though This meant I had 132 party meambers, I should’ve meantions the hive of caterpies, zubats, and rapiddash’s I caught. I should’ve also mentioned the fact the leaders were separated by the missing/nonexistent parts of the game. We finally reached the end-boss of the game.
He, the destroyer of worlds, the maker of bad puns. Possabily the guy reading this sentence! Goddamn, mutehrfoocking, pasta basterd son, MUTHURSWAG.
His level was at 676 and his pokemon were off sonic.exe and Scott the guy from Canada that’s a giant dick. Having no chance to do normal damage I used the console cheat (“In a flash game?” you say? EOHRESJFD): “lvlBst +1337, Ash”. Sadly I was met with the prompt: “You need the DLC pack ‘Woolie the liar stole my pie flavored lube’ to use this prompt. Also you didn‘t have SV-Cheats set to true dickbag!” So I responded, “I’m subscribed to TheSw1tcher tha fuk bra? Not only that butt I donated to Pocket Pussies on offbeatr. It’s basicly a better game than theis shert da fuk?” I was then met with, “Fuck you asshole I have to get back to screwing over the voice actors of Silent Hill 2 and suspending LP’s of games we’ve already approved for said purpose!” It was then that all this shit made sense to me. It was so clear, the butt fucking, the glitchs, the anal beads, the Woolie-hole, Konami, Bandaid-Namco, and Mat and Pat being the first gay marriage in Canada. The Answear was simple.
I AM….
Keanu Reeves.
It was then I used my Uber assassin, ninja, android powers to summon thousands of other Keanu Reeves to the game and broke the time-space dimension and soon the pokemon, Ash, Misty and Muthar appeared as their normal selves in my room (Muthar as himself and the others as their “Hentai Version designs”). Muthar looked to me and said, “Thank you but you’ve failed to see what you’ve done. You’ve unleashed that furry flash asshole ToonPimp out upon the world!” Stone-faced as ever I, Keanu Reeves (from John Wick BTW) responded, “I know but we’ll stop him/her but first we must free the Super Best Friends from their simulated horror of that fan-game few people are Kickstarting. Or else we’ll be without the elephants of harmony.” Muthar stared at me and yelled, “TO PLAGUE OF GRIPES HOUSE!!” So all the trapped Youtubers, Pokemon, Darkstalkers, and Taokaka all jacked cars from an impound lot and headed west to plagues house. I live in Ohio so this took 3 hours or so. Luckily it was 6:58 AM so the Kidd Chris show was on. Muthar used his cell to call his old high school friends, Leonardo DiCaprio and Chris Jericho to fly in to help us fight ToonPimp.
Will our heroes save the world (of warcrack)? Will Bonsai Buddy leave my Commodore 64 in one piece? Did anyone notice that I was 420 writing this? Did I forget to mention I’m H20Delrious? I do that a lot. Anyways find in the next fucking tale that comes out maybe never. That said if anyone continues this, you could.